Sunday, March 23, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 8: THE FINALE

And here it is folks. The very last shoot and stage of this story I call my crazy life. 
This last shoot is featuring my dear friend, Danielle Materra.


Vanquish: [vang-kwish]verb: to conquer or subdue by superior force; as in battle.










Here is the moment we've all been waiting for! 

The very last shoot of them all; the part where I take over my own life and not feel guilty about it. Because for a long time, I did. This shoot is symbolic of my victorious ending to this treacherous story of mine. I hand made the crown she's wearing. It took me close to two months to make that crown. Feathers, lace, beads, sequins and blood, sweat and tears, my friends. And lots of it. The stone she is wearing, is an agate druzy stone. It abolishes fear and uplifts courage; a few things I was lacking through this process. I put little bits of my personality and everlasting curious case of wanderlust: the shirt is actually from an online shop based in Australia. And the skirt I hope you'll recognize from a previous shoot. I did reuse some of the clothing from other shoots to really exemplify that I was still me, just a little bit different and stronger than the me I was leaving behind in those ashes.

 But believe me, I'm the happiest I have ever been in my lifetime. The world is open and full of opportunities for you and me to go out there and grab! This 6 month project and art show has opened so many doors and opportunities for me. It was very overwhelming to receive so much support and love from you all.

 But what I loved most of all about this whole experience is, for the first time ever, I was able to have a one-on-one viewing experience with my viewers. And that is something I've never done before.

My models and I have been so patiently waiting to show you all what it is we've all been keeping a secret all this time! I told the models to not share too many details of their shoot to too many people just to keep it a secret and keep the unveiling of the photos a bigger surprise. I have been living in this kind of dream world for the past 6 months. It was like living in my own little bubble of models and ideas and "don't tell anyone anything!" It was kind of fun to keep a secret this big from all of my viewers. 

I thank you all who came out last weekend to my very first (of many) art shows and exhibitions. I hope to see you at my next big project unveiling! ;)

xx
Becca



Saturday, March 22, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 7

This shoot, is symbolic of when I was blessed to stumble into 5 people who helped me realize that I was meant for so much more than just to sit in a dark room and let myself feel guilty for taking charge of 
my own life. Here is the stage where I get up and dance for the first time in a long time.

This is my good friend, Ashley Mahony.

Serendipitous: [ser-uhn-dip-i-tuhs]adjective: fortunate accident; occurring or discovered by chance in a happy or beneficial way.









This shoot was about the stage where I finally found who I was looking for through this whole process; the real me. I finally found my ground and stood up and said "Enough!" I was tired of letting myself feel sad and guilty for taking charge of my own life. I was done with the peer pressure and "in it for the minute" kind of happiness I had come accustom to. 

I found this dress, believe it or not, at the thrift store for $14. For those of you who know me, know that I'm addicted to thrifting. Whats great about this dress for this particular shoot is, I went to the thrift store to do my usual rounds of "lets see what I can find today." I wasn't looking for this shoot's outfit yet. But  stumbled upon this serendipitous dress! I was so happy with it and its gorgeous! (so duh! I had to have it!) I also found the dress I wore at the art show hanging right next to it. 

So this shoot, the theme, the theory, the place, in its entirety, was very serendipitous indeed.

xx
Becca

Guess what! Tomorrow is the very last shoot! And I can NOT wait to show you! It's got hand made touches by yours truly. Stay tuned, loves!!!

Friday, March 21, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 6

Well, here is the turning point in my story. Yesterday's was about my awakening and asking myself who I want to become and if I'm even on the right road. Well, here is the part that comes after the big decision to change who I was.
This is my good friend since elementary school, Catherine Walder.



Sonder: [sahn-der]noun: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.






hair and makeup by Jessica Lee

I decided on the word, "sonder", because not only is it my favorite word, it's the epitome of what I was going through during this trying time. I was holding back on a lot of details to my family and friends and especially the public eye. After I said my goodbyes, I was completely alone. I would find myself in dark rooms a lot and letting myself feel pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. During this time, I always thought of the word "sonder" because I had my own issues and problems, but so did every other soul on this planet. Every soul who has ever lived, is living or will live, has their own set of problems just like me. The universe is not out to get me, it's apart of life to run into trials that show themselves in the form of mountains. 

I used bones and minimal clothing to really exemplify, I had nothing. I had cut off every tie of the person I was; a very trying decision in and of itself. But, spoiler alert... I'm so much happier than I have ever been in my lifetime; all due to this excruciatingly hard year I conquered.

I hope you know that if you're going through this time period yourself, please know that you are loved. And it gets better. It gets exuberant amounts of better. Trust me on this.

xx
Becca

Tomorrow's post is gonna be so wonderful and sparkly! ;) Just you wait!!!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 5

Thanks for staying with me through these blog posts after blog post about the art show and the work I'm slowly releasing! Here's my shoot! My sister, Jessica Lee was so gracious to take these for me! Usually I set up a tripod and remote for self portraits. But this called for a certain.. not covered in mud kinda touch. ;)

Metamorphosis: [met-uh-mawr-fuhsis]noun: a major change in the appearance or character of someone or something. 









Photography Credit: Jessica Lee

This shoot is symbolic of my awakening. When I look back on those times in my life, I can describe it as I was asleep the whole time. Now that I have woke myself up, I'm covered in this mud I must now take off. And I must do it alone. I got myself into this mess, I'm going to get myself out.

 I'm sharing these stories with you all, not to brag about my problems or what I came from and "look at me now!"... I'm doing this because I have never in my lifetime met a single soul who hasn't had this kind of awakening. We've all been down a road we learned a lot from, and will never return down. I learned more about myself in this process than I ever imagined I could. So I'm not trying to put my issues on blast, and I'm not gloating in my new found state. I'm simply exposing what it is that I have kept hidden from the public eye, my friends and sometimes my own family, for so many months. 

We did this shoot in my backyard literally the last few hours of it being just a bunch of dirt! We planted the grass right after I cleaned off from this shoot! Talk about good timing.. haha

This brings me to my next shoot! But you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see the rest of this story!
It's almost Friday! Hang in there, loves!

p.s. yes this 100% real mud.

xx
Becca

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 4

It's Wednesday! AKA: hump day! Plus we're almost to the middle of my shoots! Here is the third stage and photo shoot of the show with my good friend and long time neighbor, Megan Thomas.

Melee: [mey-ley]noun: a confused fight; skirmish, scuffle. 










This shoot was actually done all the way back in the first weeks of November. Megan was MORE than patient with me to take these photos and only see one from the entire.. oh I don't know, the average 500 photos I typically walk away from a shoot with... She is a brilliant model. She portrayed a sense of helplessness and yet self awareness I was looking for. 

p.s. recognize the one of the feet? hehehe ...I cropped it A LOT to use it for the flyer!

I mentioned in the very first blog post, I didn't know what I would be shooting. I just knew I wanted to do an art show. That idea came up early October. I was planning shoots and gathering models for the show, asking around to see who was interested, they all accepted the challenge! Anyway, I was planning the shoots and buying clothes online for these shoots, and then I got to the third shoot and realized, I was subconsciously putting in details into the shoots that were literally things that happened while in my transformation from who I was to who I am now. All the locations are places I slowly realized who I was and who I wanted to be. So it was such an honor to be able to go back to these special places and do shoots that symbolize each stage of that process of really digging deep into myself and seeing who it is I want to be in life. A very deep soul search, if you will. I just used these places and a few people to finally find myself. Something I'll spend the rest of my life trying to understand. 


I can't wait to show you tomorrow's shoot.. OOOO!! It's a fun one! Here's a hint: it got reaaaaalllly messy.
Stay Tuned!

xx
Becca

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 3

I'm slowly releasing these photos a shoot at a time and I'm getting antsy. I've waited close to 6 months to share these shoots and I'm taking my sweet time. But now I'm wondering if im just gonna crack one of these days and release them all at once!!!! AH! too excited.

On to the second shoot, with my dear friend and amazingly talented model, Courtney Martinez.


Qualm: [kwahlm] noun: an uneasy feeling of doubt, worry or fear. especially about one's conduct; a misgiving.











This shoot was so perfect. Each and every one was just perfect. It was actually a lot harder to take these photos than what meets the eye. I had to straddle a Jacuzzi wall and not fall into either the Jacuzzi or fall onto Courtney in the pool. Not to mention how many times Courtney had to look graceful and pose while giving the right emotion and stay afloat all in the same instance. Hats off to her! She did it perfectly!

The best part of this shoot, is we did this shoot at 2pm, and I had a flight to San Francisco at 4pm that day. Talk about time pressure! It all worked out great though, got the shots I needed and made it to the airport in the nick of time! We got there right as they were calling our fellow passengers to get ready for boarding. too funny.. But it makes for quite the story! ;)

More and more and even more photos coming! Don't you worry your little heart!

xx
Becca

Monday, March 17, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 2

And now... the moment we've all been waiting for.. (including myself!) Here is the very first shoot of the show. 

But first, the epilogue. The reasoning behind it all..



THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX

This time a  year ago, I was making decisions that would affect me forever; I just didn't know it yet. I surrounded myself with people who I thought I could save; from their problems, from their anxieties, their addictions and themselves. I tried to drag them out of the burning salt water that burns to the touch. But instead I fell in with them. I didn't see it or realize it until I was completely submerged in a way of thinking that shaped me into someone I had never intended to become or could even recognize. I had to be stronger than my own understanding of the word. I had to cut off every tie, every rope and drain every drop of that water out of my life. The next few months following that major decision, I often found myself alone in a dark room. I then decided I can sit there and cry about the bad things that have just occurred or I can rise from them, learn from them and most importantly, move on. So I made some promises to myself to leave it in the ashes, rise from it as a phoenix and become something great out of utter destruction. In the process, I found five people that forever changed me by breathing hope into my lifeless self. 

Each little detail of the shoots and show itself, were carefully created to symbolize each stage in my process of healing. Every location of the shoots I hold dear to my heart; for they are the places where, in the healing process, I have slowly transformed.

This, is my transformation from a sunless pile of ash, to the phoenix I didn't know I'd become.
Enjoy.





STOIC:[stoh-ik]: a person who can endure pain of hardship without showing their feelings or complaining. 





In this shoot, I used water to symbolize the depression and anger I was feeling so strongly while in the first few stages of this process. Allie McKenzie, my sister, was so great to get into the ocean water and pose; as uncomfortable as that is... There were people watching, which I'm totally used to, but my models sometimes feel funny wearing funny things in random places and posing with an audience! Not to mention waves crashing into your back and having to pose correctly. I really love that her face is very calm and yet her body is very stiff in her poses. An exact interpretation of what it feels like to be in deep water of anger and emotional turmoil.


Stay tuned! Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, there will be shoot after shoot coming your way!

xx
Becca

Sunday, March 16, 2014

THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX part 1

Let me just start out by saying this: I AM SPEECHLESS. It was a breathe taking night, absolutely amazing and perfect and wonderful. Thank you SO much to everyone who came out! I couldn't believe how many people we could fit in my backyard! haha well over 200 people were there last night! Thank you for your everlasting support and love!!!

Meet my girls! These AMAZING friends I've been blessed to know double as models! (L to R: Megan Thomas, Danielle Materra, Ashley Mahony, Me, Catherine Walder, Allie McKenzie. Not pictured: Courtney Martinez.)

Disclaimer: sorry this post is gonna be a lot of reading..
Here's how I'm gonna do this blog post and sharing the photos and videos of the show. Today is part 1! So each day, I'll be sharing a photo shoot for the show. Keep in mind, these photos have NEVER been seen by anyone except myself (and the models got to see one photo from their shoot) but until last night, I had not shared these photos with a single soul. So these photos I hold dear to my heart. They're photos of my favorite places with my favorite models portraying a very troubling year I conquered. HERE WE GO!



So! I created the idea for the show back in October of 2013. Yes, a whole 6 months ago. I drew up plans, and layouts, and started gathering models long before I knew what the show was about. It wasn't until about the 3rd shoot I planned, that I realized I was planning to portray a stage of metamorphosis I endured October of 2012- until March 2013. Catch the months there? I did that on purpose. I started this journey of change in October of 2012 and reached its shining end of the tunnel by last March.

On to the set up! (I know you've all been waiting to see this!)

Our backyard, could barely be classified as such. It was more of a 2 ton rock collection/ wheel barrel and ladder storage area/ dead grass and dirt pit of despair. Look for yourself! (It was an eye sore!)






It was a MESS to say the least. But, much like each detail of the show, it was symbolic for me to have to transform such a mess of a place to something that could be classy and beautiful enough to host an art show in. So, as a family, we knew we'd be redoing the backyard for, well, obvious reasons... haha this just sped up the process!

SO we took this....

and transformed it into...


THIS!


sorry for the low quality video!

We started tearing up the yard in January and planted grass the last week or so of February! I was really worried about the grass growing in time, but that grass grew so fast, I've never seen anything like it! 

I hope you enjoyed reading all about the show last night! It was just perfect! 


Me spending the last few minutes of THE EGG OF THE PHOENIX alone in my yard listening to my favorite band on vinyl.

Stay tuned! 
Starting tomorrow, PHOTOS!!! and lots of em!!!  






About Me

My photo
Rebecca McKenzie is a Wedding and Fashion Photographer from Cypress, California.